I don't know what is wrong with Kathie. I don't know if I did something or what. She is like freaking out. She made a pizza and is like running around. She took out the trash while slamming the door. She then came back and grabbed the first recycling container and hurried out of the house while slamming the door. When she was out the timer for her pizza went off so I turned it off and the door was open so I left it in there. When she rushed back in I told her that her pizza was done but she didn't answer and I saw she had ear plugs in. I don't know why, she's weird like that. Maybe I was typing to loud for her. Well she just rushed out of the house again with the second recycling container and slammed the door, she was making so much noise. I don't know why she even took out the recycling, I was suppose to do that tonight. Well when she came back she swung open the dishwasher door making it make this horrible loud sound. Then she rushed into the garage and slammed the door. She's still in there. Her pizza timer went off again, she must have set it again. I turned it off. She just opened the garage door and now she closed it. She didn't keep it open for long. Like I said, I don't know what is up with her. Well my dad just got home...looking grumpy. I told him what happened and he said that she can't take the typing. But I just started typing, I don't understand, oh well. He said they are leaving and said I should eat that pizza. He went to the garage and came back saying the pizza was for me and if I could put the dishes away. He said its 'cos she's on edge because she is in so much pain. It's nice she made me a pizza but I would like people to ask me if I'm even hungry first. So I'm not hungry and I have a pizza I have to eat. Plus she makes it different then I do and she left it in there too long so the crust is chewy and tough. It's kinda gross and I'm not hungry at all but I have to eat it. Honestly, I'm just waiting for them to leave so I can turn my music loud enough so it's actually audiable and so I can finally relax. So I don't have to feel like I'm walking on egg shells. I don't feel good...whatever, I'll deal with it, I always do. It will probably be more supressing but hey it hasn't killed me yet...just kinda made it hard for me to interact with people...oh well, I gave up on a getting a relationship so all I have to interact with is my friends and I doubt that will last much longer so I'll just have my family and they don't really talk to me anyways so I will just live under a rock and just leave to get food. I'll go out a live in like a forest and just die out there. So that's my life plan just avoid all contact with people so I don't cause more problems for people. So my day, it started out the same as usual. The bus was late, again. Got to school and Josh and I parted ways, he had to go to the office. I went down to the basement to put my math book away. While I was walking up to the 3rd floor, I passed Zach on the stairs...yeah he kind of glanced at me so he could move and we wouldn't run into each other. When we passed, he didn't even give me a second glance...that didn't make me feel all that swell to tell you the truth. When I got to the 3rd floor, we all talked. Monica was absent again. Last night I tried calling her but our phones weren't working. In chemistry, I sat next to Meggs instead of in my seat. Meggs and I chatted a bit and listened to the lecture. We have a test tomorrow...I'm gonna fail it...my first test of the semester and I'm gonna fail it. English was pretty boring, Meggs and I finished our work yesterday so she did her homework and I read. I litterally almost fell asleep in my book. After that I met Sophia and Melissa in the hall and Sophia looked at my ear. She said the earing was like digging into my ear so she took the earing out. Oh, my, god! That hurt so bad. She cleared a bit of the dried blood away then put the earing back in. It hurt for awhile but then it didn't hurt anymore, it was like it was all better now. So I went to class after that and guess what! SUB! Yup, Mr. Excitement wasn't there. We did this assignment and the class was so loud, it was great. We could actually talk to each other! After that I went to my locker and waited for Ben. We went and sat in the window we had yesterday and talked. We talked about random things and when Steve arrived we talked about Kung Fu porn and music and such. After lunch, Steve and I walked to class. Steve and I talked a bit, don't remember about what though. I remember Erica and Nicole were mentioned but don't remember the whole conversation. So I went to Health and we did group activities like if we got stuck on the moon and a who has...worksheet. After that, Luke and I talked a bit but not much. After that I met up with Josh, Mel and Meggs. Meggs and I walked to the 3rd floor and talked. I went to ASL and I actually had to do TA work! I had to go to the Medical career teacher to get some poster board. Raquel and Darin were in the class. Darin offered to help me carry the stuff but I was like, "I can do it." Yeah it was light until I went up 3 floors. So after that, Sophia and I were trying to choose a song while doing this site, www.peteranswers.com, I saw Marissa do it in Chemistry. The thing is crazy, I swear it was it knew everything. She was like, whose behind me? And it answered, Jimmy and Mr. Boyd was behind her...it was creppy. So I was trying it but it wasn't answering me. Marissa had said that it took some time. Well I tried at my house but like it doesn't load on my computer...so anyway were doing that when this girl came up and asked if she could be in our group, we said yes. She doesn't like our music but yeah. I think we have decided on A Lonely September by The Plain White Tee's but who knows, it might change, again. Yeah after that I went to math...that was pretty much the same as usual. Oh dang, it's Thursaday, I have to do my math homework. I think I'm gonna tell my dad that I want him to take the job in Alaska. I'll go up with him for awhile in the Summer and come back before school starts and live by myself. I really do want to go to Alaska though. It would be a clean slate and I could meet cool Alaskan people. Who knows, I might meet a guy, doubt it but a girl can dream.
Music: Funeral of Hearts by H.I.M. wait change Ohio is for Lovers by Hawthorne Heights...oh appropriate, depressing songs.
Random thought: I'm losing myself...
Mood: Absent

"The Funeral Of Hearts"
Love's the funeral of hearts
And an ode for cruelty
When angels cry blood
On flowers of evil in bloom
The funeral of hearts
And a plea for mercy
When love is a gun
Separating me from you
She was the sun
Shining upon
The tomb of your hopes and dreams so frail
He was the moon
Painting you
With it's glow so vulnerable and pale
Love's the funeral of hearts
And an ode for cruelty
When angels cry blood
On flowers of evil in bloom
The funeral of hearts
And a plea for mercy
When love is a gun
Separating me from you
She was the wind, carrying in
All the troubles and fears you've for years tried to forget
He was the fire, restless and wild
And you were like a moth to that flame
The heretic seal beyond divine
A prayer to a god who's deaf and blind
The last rites for souls on fire
Three little words and a question why
Love's the funeral of hearts
And an ode for cruelty
When angels cry blood
On flowers of evil in bloom
The funeral of hearts
And a plea for mercy
When love is a gun
Separating me from you

"Ohio Is For Lovers"
Hey there, I know it's hard to feel like I don't care at all.
Where you are and how you feel.
With these lights off as these wheels
keep rolling on and on. (and on and on and on...)
Slow things down or speed them up.
Not enough or way too much. (and on and on and on...)
How are you when I'm gone?
And I can't make it on my own. (And I can't make it on my own.)
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.
Spare me just three last words.
"I love you" is all she heard.
I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever.[x2]
And I can't make it on my own.(And I can't make it on my own.)
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.
(YOU...KILL...ME...WELL)
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
My final breath is gone
So I can fall asleep tonight
And I can't make it on my own.(And I can't make it on my own.)
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.
(YOU...KILL...ME...WELL)
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.