I walked into my room tonight after Monica dropped me off and went to my bed to drop my bag onto it. While walking I caught a glance at my AFI poster and when I dropped my bag, I turned to them. They looked different, their gazes seemed different as if they were telling me, "It's okay, tell us all your problems." I wakled over to them and kissed my index finger and touched it to Adam's lips, then repeated it for Hunter then Jade and lastly Davey. I sighed and said, "What is wrong with me? Why can't I be normal?" I rub my face and start changing into my pjs. "I can't hide it anymore. I can't act like nothing is wrong anymore. I just can't." I don't know what's wrong with me anymore. After a night of hearing a fight over how I am the reason for all the problems and not sleeping, I didn't feel well. Actually I felt nothing, completely blank. It wasn't until 6th period did I break down and cry. That is when the pain came. Well I woke up, blank and not wanting to go see people but I got up even more because my will to not be home was stronger. So I go the bus stop to get the normal stares and when the bus came, I got on and sat next to Josh though I was strongly thinking of sitting somewhere else. I sat down and he turned to me and asked, "What was wrong last night?" I had been in a horrible mood even before the fighting and I had told him that he didn't want to me and then signed offline. I softly said, "Nothing." and we didn't say a thing the rest of the bus ride. When I got off the bus, I simply started walking away instead of waiting for Josh and Bryan though Josh was right behind me and I told him, "You can wait for Bryan. I have something I need to do."He starts to follow saying, "I would rather go with you."
I say blankly, "You can't follow me to the girl's bathroom."
He says some jokingly comments and somehow he is no longer walking with me. I walk to my locker to have Sophia show up. She says something about bands or something then asks what is wrong which I simply with "Nothing." I leave and walk slowly up a floor. Then I cross over to go to the bathroom. I open the door and quickly close it when I see a million girls in it. I go up one more floor and find that bathroom, open and only one girl in it. I act like I'm checking my make-up and soon she leaves. I then just stare into mirror. I stared deep into my eyes and begged myself to see something. Just anything. Any sign of emotion. I became in a trance and was quickly snapped out of it when the door opened. They gave me a funny look and I left the bathroom. I didn't know where to go. I didn't want to go to my friends. I didn't want to get the "what's wrong?" I know I caused the pity and I hated it. So I decided to walk to the tower stairs and see if I could find a lone spot. As I crossed over the second floor, it was full of people and when I got to the third floor, it was full of people including my cousin. I tried to walk past without her seeing but it didn't happen. I waved but she wanted a hug and of course asked, "What's wrong?" I said nothing and left. I turned the corner and slowed down wondering how much longer I had to wait till the bell. I checked my phone to see I still had fifteen minutes. I acted like I was going through my backpack and then messed with my mp4 and then my phone. Eventually, Melissa and Monica round the corner. I told them I had just went to the bathroom. I didn't really tell anyone what was wrong until in Math in sixth period. Ben kinda forced it from me. Yeah so that was that.