So today I finally realised how people see me different. I figured people did by how I dress and look but I never really saw it till today. I had to present and analyze the poem Facing It by Yusef Komunyakaa in front of my English class. I was supposed to be engaged with the class so I asked many questions and no one would answer. I think I got two comments. I didn't think much of it till the next person got a lot of comments and questions and when the professor went up, the class asked a bunch of questions about my poem. STILL I didn't think much about it but finally it really sunk in when I went to my math class and this guy that has my English class was talking to the guy he sits next to and he was saying, "Yeah I felt so bad for her. The whole class was dead silent." After that it seemed like everyone that came in didn't sit next to me. I don't know it could simply be my imagination. I know the people who talk to me like me and I have made a few friends since starting there but my closest friend that I had made had to drop this quarter for financial reasons.
I assume this isn't new but I probably didn't notice because I had so many friends in high school or maybe my high school was different. I mean this isn't the first time I've been treated different but oh I don't know. This isn't going to change anything. I love how I dress and look. It makes me happy and that is what matters. I just found this all weird and I've been feeling lonely lately I guess. Everyone is off at different colleges and I'm still here. I have Missy and Sophie which is SO nice. I don't know what I would do without them. I just feel so lost. A guy would be nice but I don't have much hope in that.
Well sorry for the depressing post. Here is a picture:
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